The new year has begun, I believe there are so many more things for me to discover and experience. :) I thought that I've always been a strong girl, but recently I realized that I was wrong. Because.... the truth is I am still learning how to be stronger, each and every day. *pats shoulder*
On 1st Jan, I took some time to rearrange all the files in my laptop - was thinking if this would be the best thing to do to start the new year. So as I was compiling and arranging files, I actually downloaded some old reports and database from my Gmail.
I came across a very old report that I wrote to my leader. It is written in mid 2012. It was very long, full of emotions, full of disappointments and unhappiness.
I was supposed to attend a meeting, but I didnt turn up. I was not in the right mind and said some of the worst things ever - basically to give up what I've been sowing. But thank God I decided to go back to Leaders Meeting on one fine night. Not knowing what to expect....
Keith was telling all leaders to keep sowing into our CG members' lives, we might feel tired speaking to them, but some of them are not tired listening to us. You just gotta keep sowing! That still small voice told me that everything I have right now belongs to Him, I only have to do my part, and surrender everything else to Him. He will decide when to bring the increase. I WAS OVERWHELMED WITH JOY.
So after sending the report, I was expecting some scoldings, some intense teachings and gasak-ing. But obviously I was wrong.
Because my leader still trust me, because of the love of Christ, because no one gave up on me, because so many people are still speaking into my life, I decided to change the way I see things and understand that love is the key to be a good leader.
I realized how things changed in end of 2012. That was right after my boss get married :)
Needless to say, it was an amazing journey as my parents began to attend a church, and I took up some leadership roles during Emerge season. I felt that 2013 is a year God trained me to be more patient, more mature, have more self-control, someone who is stronger spiritually, mentally and emotionally. As I looked back 2013, I have learned to cling onto the Word during tough times and to honor my leaders the best I can..
I am grateful to be reminded again about this report and this incident. I just wanna say......
Above all things, LOVE! :)
