Realization. 2014 - A year with more LOVE!

The new year has begun, I believe there are so many more things for me to discover and experience. :) I thought that I've always been a strong girl, but recently I realized that I was wrong. Because.... the truth is I am still learning how to be stronger, each and every day. *pats shoulder*

On 1st Jan, I took some time to rearrange all the files in my laptop - was thinking if this would be the best thing to do to start the new year. So as I was compiling and arranging files, I actually downloaded some old reports and database from my Gmail.

I came across a very old report that I wrote to my leader. It is written in mid 2012. It was very long, full of emotions, full of  disappointments and unhappiness.

I was supposed to attend a meeting, but I didnt turn up. I was not in the right mind and said some of the worst things ever - basically to give up what I've been sowing. But thank God I decided to go back to Leaders Meeting on one fine night. Not knowing what to expect....

Keith was telling all leaders to keep sowing into our CG members' lives, we might feel tired speaking to them, but some of them are not tired listening to us. You just gotta keep sowing! That still small voice told me that everything I have right now belongs to Him, I only have to do my part, and surrender everything else to Him. He will decide when to bring the increase. I WAS OVERWHELMED WITH JOY.

So after sending the report, I was expecting some scoldings, some intense teachings and gasak-ing. But obviously I was wrong.

Because my leader still trust me, because of the love of Christ, because no one gave up on me, because so many people are still speaking into my life, I decided to change the way I see things and understand that love is the key to be a good leader.

I realized how things changed in end of 2012. That was right after my boss get married :) 

Needless to say, it was an amazing journey as my parents began to attend a church, and I took up some leadership roles during Emerge season. I felt that 2013 is a year God trained me to be more patient, more mature, have more self-control, someone who is stronger spiritually, mentally and emotionally. As I looked back 2013, I have learned to cling onto the Word during tough times and to honor my leaders the best I can.. 

I am grateful to be reminded again about this report and this incident. I just wanna say...... 

Above all things, LOVE! :)

2013.

2013 is such a great year. Spent the past 2 hours looking back at my 2013 calendar, it's only few days left to 2014! I thank God this is the first year I actually make good use of my planner because I jotted down every single important events and dates and it lasts through the year! Hehehe... FYI I never completed any of my yearly planner before this. So I repented! :P I take this as an achievement! PTL! :)

As I flipped through my handmade calendar, from January to December, there were flashbacks and lots of memories ran through my mind. I saw how I went through tough times and how God has blessed me instead. I saw how I organized my deadlines and planned for events. I saw how on my birthday, subzone members appeared at my house and celebrated for me... All these memories will be kept in my heart forever!

This year, I wanna be thankful for so so so many things. But perhaps I'll share a few here. 

1) My parents start attending church, and cell group.

2) CHC, ASZ, my leaders, C43, Emerge, LU, TGE.

3) Capacity to have a bigger friendship circle.

Number 3 sounds awkward to you? hahaha... There was a history behind this special "life principle". I wanna thank God for expanding this capacity in me to make more real and close friends. Not something that is in me but He gave me... :')

But of course, there are also some regrets this year. Life isn't perfect because if it is, we don't need God anymore. Im thankful for this imperfection because it allows me to slowly discover how beautiful life is. And the people. And God.

Regrets:

1) Didn't manage to be baptized.

2) Missed a few important birthdays.

Because these regrets will never remain as regrets next year. *Determined* Im grateful for all the people I met this year, all the best things given to me and all the precious friendships. 

Next year is gonna be better! Can't wait!! :)

To Love, with love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVEEN!

I know you love yellow now so I don't care if you can see it or not as long as yellow makes  you happy :P

Knowing her for years but never thought that today she's one of those people who can affect and influence me on my decisions, my likings and even inspire me to serve God better. 

Some fun facts about Loveen!

She smiles alot. 

So much that even when she's not smiling and I would thought she is and I'll return smile. HAHAHAHA! Hi!! *waves and smiles*

She's such a sweetie pie. 

She actually wrote a heartfelt message to me on a card during my birthday. Awwwwwwww

She cares. 

One random Monday morning we went Genting Highlands outdoor theme park. She knows I have the fear of height. She's the one who teman me to try all those not-so-high rides, held my hands, but at the same time she laughed at me when I was too scared or nervous. :')

She loves selfies.

When she is in the mood, she will take like 20 selfies with your phone and then tell you that your phone is full of awesomeness.

She's quite sampat. 

And I think it's because

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She is one of us.

Introducing you the group full of sampatness! 

How to take group picture without you la??? :D

Thanks for being such an awesome sister in Christ! I thank God for you in my life and I really appreciate all your effort to always find time for us in the midst of your busyness. Love you lots <3

Isaiah says

Sometimes we get weary, we're sick of all the trials that repeatedly exhaust us, and we have fears and worries. But there is hope for us, because we are not just living on our own. 

God does not grow weary, God's energy will never exhaust. God's power can be our power! 

Feed ourselves with the truth that is much bigger than realities that drag us down and wear us out. Someone once said 

"Don't tell God how big your problem is, but tell your problem how big GOD is!"

Dolphins.

Who doesn't love such beautiful scenery. Recently I saw this video someone shared on Facebook.

After watching this video, I was like "Tell me la, how on earth can people don't love dolphins?" They are such beautiful creatures. Im a huge dolphins lover. Plus, one day I would love to see the sun rising + dolphins jumping out of the ocean. 

My friend Christal knows I love dolphins, so she made me this. Thank you! :)

I will definitely keep it the best I can! 

Butterflies

Saw this in Sunway Pryamid today, and I fell in love with all these butterflies hanging in the middle of that atrium. I'm easily attracted to colorful things. Butterflies, flowers and balloons. They make me happy. :)

Hard to be a good student?

Sometimes, being a good student doesn't mean you're trying to be "the teacher's pet". And neither should you criticize one. During my high school days, there was this trend "If you wanna look cool, be smart but don't be too good". Which means, you just gotta be smart enough to break some rules but don't get penalty for what you've done. Even if you got some penalties, they just gotta be too unimportant for teachers to complain to your parents, and you're safe to graduate after SPM.

This is completely ridiculous. When I was in form 4, I tried to follow the trend and be "cool", I unzipped my pinafore a little, and skipped morning assembly by hiding in the classroom. When my friends came back, they told me how bored the assembly was and I shared about how I hid myself that none of the prefects could find me. 

Can't imagine that I actually did that. It was all good. Because I learned after that. Once I was caught for not attending the morning assembly, and got some demerits. That year wasn't great for me, and I dropped to the 2nd class when I was in form 5. 

It would be a long story if I continue. Sometimes it's really fun to look cool and be cool, but if you're not doing the right things, it is not cool at all! I learned to respect every teachers / now lecturers, and I think that it's important to serve them. They may not be our "ideal educators", but when we learn to honor them, they will give their best in teaching us. And I believe that. :)